A Letter To My Mother On My 40th Birthday:
Sunday, May 9, 2021
Hi Mom,
Today, May 9 is my birthday, my 40th to be exact but you already know that 😊. It just happens that my Birthday and Mother's Day are on the same day this year. It is also my first birthday without you and first Mother's Day without you, and when I woke up this morning I wasn't feeling the birthday spirit. I need you. Not just today but always. Your absence changes things. It makes things less beautiful and more heartbreaking.
Today I sit here thinking about this exact day 40 years ago. It was the day you became a mother. It was also the day you and Daddy became parents for the first time. Did you realize on this day how amazing you would be? Did you realize that you were about to become one of the best mothers this world has to offer? Being your daughter was a blessing. It was my first gift and the best gift. You also told me that shortly after you've given birth to me, I had problems breathing on my own. The doctors wasn't expecting me to live long and they placed me in ICU where I was closely monitored for a week. They wanted to send you home while I remained at the hospital, but you told them you were not leaving the hospital without your daughter. Today, I am 40 years old typing this letter from my computer.
40 years ago our journey began. You probably didn’t realize that in the moment you gave birth to me you became so much more than a mother. You became an inspiration. Even though you and Daddy made moves difficult for me and my young brothers to understand when I was growing up (because we all have our own perspective of how our parents should make moves), I’m still inspired by your unconditional love, your unwavering support, and your dedication to being the best mother anyone could ask for. You and Daddy both taught me how to pray, how to save money, and instilled in me the love of reading among other things.
On March 31, 2021 you returned to God's spiritual home. It has been 7 weeks since you left us unexpectedly. You had a stroke in your sleep. I later found out that your death was caused by an inherited heart condition that went undetected. I had absolutely no way of knowing about your illness especially since you showed no signs or symptoms. Your passing is still difficult for me, my brothers, and our father to wrap our minds around and it will always lead back to us wanting to see you, hug you, or hear your voice again. Also you and Daddy had celebrated your 43rd wedding anniversary exactly two weeks before your passing so another traumatic experience for us.
I am blessed to have 5 aunts and 2 uncles (who are all my father's siblings) that came together and gave us a village of support after you left us. Your passing has also opened my eyes to a lot of things and showed me the family who really loves and cares about you and who does not. But if I have to celebrate my birthday without you, I will celebrate this: THIS IS THE DAY I MET YOU. My life will be forever blessed because of that fact. It’s easy to celebrate you. So I will be celebrating the moment you and I met, instead of dwelling on the fact that you’re not here.
I miss you every second of every day. Love you, Mom!
Always,
Your Firstborn ❤
Posted By: Siebra Muhammad
Sunday, May 9th 2021 at 11:45AM
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