Home > Blogs > Post Content

BEEN THINKING ABOUT: Men’s Aversion to Church “Why Men Hate Going to Church” by author David Murrow (1482 hits)

“Why Men Hate Going to Church” by author David Murrow stayed on my desk, unread for a long time, because it looked like an overstatement. But then I started reading and was intrigued by his suggestion that, of the world’s major religions, only Christianity seems to have a problem getting men.

One of the reasons I have been so intrigued with Murrow’s book, “Why Men Hate Going to Church” is that his work explores the interrelationship between spiritual character and the real and perceived nature of masculinity and femininity. In the middle of such a discussion I find myself in wonder of both the self-evident nature of gender similarities and differences– and the mystery. Over the years I have heard many attempts to characterize gender distinction in relationships, organizational structure, and communication. At this point I have no doubt that, in the wisdom of God, he has made us as men and women wonderfully similar and different—so as to enable us together to reflect his likeness.

What I cannot see at this point is that it is adequate or helpful to say things like, “Men are made to lead. Women to follow.” Or “Real men are strong, real women beautiful.” Neither does it make sense to me to say that courage, sacrifice, or honor are masculine characteristics. It seems too obvious that just as men and women both have a “voice” that tends to be different, so both men and women share the challenges of character, strength, duty, and understanding, in similar, distinct, and complementary ways. ...

Read more...
http://beenthinking.org/

Posted By: Jen Fad
Friday, January 7th 2011 at 6:01PM
You can also click here to view all posts by this author...

Report obscenity | post comment

Share |

good topic JEN for me going to church is a way of life ,,what i mean is i love to bring my family to church and hear the singing and look at all the people dressed in there Sunday best and giving reverence to the lord and believing GOD for deliverance my granny got me started when i was young and my parents believed in the lord real tuff my mom is 78 yrs old and every xmas, thanksgivings she feed the homeless and thoses that have less she is right there and she still works at uconn ,,but yes churches are being abandon by men black i see a lot of ladies in the church with the kids or alone !
Friday, January 7th 2011 at 6:12PM
DAVID JOHNSON

@ Saint,
I think Christianity is too, watered down for most men to stomach especially Black men and it doesn't seem fair for people to be able to confess their sins and be forgiven of crimes such as murder, adultry, rape, incest, ect. I think most people especially men believe in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth... or if one steals--- cut off the hand that one stole with. That's just my take.
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 5:21AM
Jen Fad

I think a reason that some men hate going to church is making that commitment in their lives to dedicate that time in worship. Many of them may think it's not necessary to go to the church building to worship, they deemed it unnecessary as they can do a worship and prayer at home.

When they actually stay home; they are not found doing any worship at all but simply spending hours in preferences of what they like doing like sleeping in late, watching television and barely never praying at all. If they could only reverse their thinking in that church worship can be very soul satisfying and spiritually uplifting they would go more often ...If they would go regularly eventually they can find going the church is more gratifying to their own life as well as ways they can give of themselves to worship God.

Sometimes it's just any excuse they can use to stay home --any reason they can find in order not to go even saying they aren't living their lives in obedience enough to go to church or they haven't any church clothing, job or ect...evne saying they haven't gotten themselves together to be presentable.

Church worship to God can answer any excuses, but often, so many men still they don't tend to follow through and rather miss going to church.

There is commitment to obey and they often again chose to suit their preferences and avoiding to give God the commitment over their lives.

I've rattled on enough...:<)
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 9:01AM
MIISRAEL Bride

European Pagan Belief was THOR and Hercules orientated and the bit about Eve never has gone over with europeanMales--in my opinion.

as for the africanKidnapped------paganChristianity never offered them much love or history; and following the femaleKidnapped and raped has been a major stumbling block.

Example, for the older reading crowd----Roots-----kizzy forced Kunta to go to the river for the wetting of their child into foolishness. As the Leader of their family he was made to bow to female and her masterRapist.

Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 12:28PM
powell robert

@ Miisrael,
...Many of them may think it's not necessary to go to the church building to worship, they deemed it unnecessary as they can do a worship and prayer at home...

So true... People do make time to do the things that they "want" to do.

@ Saint,
I can appreciate the view point you bring and I'm not disputing that point of view. The garden of Eden was in Ethiopia and that alone should be proof enough that those people were African. I know there are Black people in the Bible, but its up to Black men to research their own information and history in order to know the truth. I know the truth.

@ Brother Rob,
You make a great point. I do believe that Christianity is too, female centered. Many preachers and pastors tend to cater their messages to the females in the congregation as if they don't want to lose them. I've never understood that. Church is for both men and women, but yet the messages are always somehow catered towards the women in the congregation leaving the men with no message centered to help them. The pastor talks that the man is the head, but yet he elevates the women above their men. Interesting...
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 4:06PM
Jen Fad

I ain't got nothing against the black church, but I think why most men (and this means most women too) hate going to church is because like Gary said some of them do not speak truth to power...most of the churches are not progressing as they should progress.

Say what you want about the Nation of Islam, but they have made more progress in advancing black people than all Black/African centered movements combined. How are the pastors going to reach the men if all they do is talk the talk but are afraid to use their talents to take control over their own communities and/or create jobs, educational programs or anything dedicated to the bettering of our condition as black people?

YOU HAVE TALK...BUT POWER IS PRICELESS!!!

Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 5:08PM
Siebra Muhammad

i love the blackness of gospels ..the gospel singing just does something to my soul and my psychic i look at the history of gospel music and how ti has really been the foundation of a lot of singers that are now singing R&B !

IF WE LOOK CLOSELY AT A LOT OF THINGS WE CAN FIND FAULT IN EVERYTHING !
WHEN IM ON THE BATTLE FIELD OF LIFE AND THE WALLS ARE CAVING IN FROM ALL SIDES
THE SONG THAT HAS PULLED ME THROUGH IS AMAZING GRACE ,,,the love of mt GOD has pulled me up from the sting of death and set my feet on solid ground !

The over all consensuses of the information on this blog is that the church is falling by the wayside and black men dont go as they should but i beg the difference people are coming back to the church and are believing in A move of GOD like never before THE WORLD IS A CHAOTIC STATE and people are relying on there faith to pull them through !

Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 6:12PM
DAVID JOHNSON

Yep!
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 6:13PM
Siebra Muhammad

Saint, you are correct...keep in mind there was a sixth day creation:

Please note: in Genesis 1:28 that God gave man dominion over the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. These people were hunters and fisherman.

Gensis1:28, the sixth day creation of man were hunters and fisherman, this would most likely force many of them to be nomadic, to track game animals.

In Genesis 2:5 it is stated "there was not a man to till the ground." God had not created a man to be a farmer as of yet. At this time, in Genesis 2:7, God formed man (Adam) of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. Thus creating the first farmer!

Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 6:50PM
Siebra Muhammad

@ Saint,
I don't think you qite understand my point of reference and that being everyone must work out their own salvation with fear and trembling; people need to stop being lazy and read the Book(s).

@ Brother Mozell & Sister Irma,
I believe that the Black church has lost its relevance ad surely "preaching against" Gays isn't going to help the music department!
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 6:53PM
Jen Fad

More on this topic of Adam and Eve in another blog...but that's my short take for now...
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 6:53PM
Siebra Muhammad

paganChristianity in the africanKidnapped community has ALWAYS been femaleCentered---

despoil, deflower and corrupt the Heart of a Family and

--a nation from accross the atlantic can be controlled for Generations--male and female.

Seriously Folks Isnt this the Truth.

Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 7:06PM
powell robert

Please research the bible and get understanding. Don't just listen to the preacher get understanding personally. Read it for yourselves...
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 7:24PM
Siebra Muhammad

@ Brother Mozell,

...preach preacher...
Do I hear Brother Kirk Franklin in you

@ Brother Gary,
...Chicken parties and listening to Rev. Fatback ego trip and entertain the people with the knowledge they already have aquired? ... Religion is Big Business, entertainment for the ignorant and fearful and only the elite of the church get any real benefit from the organization. ...

You better preach preacher! The very people that are taken advantage of are the women, but the men aren't fooled not one bit. This may be the reason the men don't come to some of these "so called" worship services. I can't say I blame them for I have also seen the light when my eyes were opened. It's was a MIRACLE!

Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 8:18PM
Jen Fad

Today religious worshippers have proven to the entire world that they would rather resort to emotional human hatred, fighting, and then suffer and die over the name of a mystery GOD and religion. Then to agree with simplified and applied truth facts or science involving their economic and social stride as shown in the 12 signs of the zodiac, look to the heavens all the truth is there, my word is bond.
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 8:44PM
DAVID JOHNSON

Knowledge of the truth is a wise man’s cipher, for you shall know the truth and the truth will make you free. All the evidence points towards the facts, that had the truth been taught in the schools of yesterday, there would have not been a need for the great statement to be recorded in literature named after the son of man Yeheshua, 'You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free'.
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 8:47PM
DAVID JOHNSON

@ David,
The truth is a relative term, you know. It depends on what truth people want to believe as for me and my House, we choose to serve the True and Living God of Joshua.
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 8:57PM
Jen Fad

... and that may or may not require us goin gto the "so called" church building to do it... ya feel me?
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 8:58PM
Jen Fad

JEN
we are entitled to our own truth like you said for me and the church,i stand on the scripture that states : FORSAKE NOT THE ASSEMBLING OF THE GATHERING OF THE SAINTS AS IN THE MANER OF SOME THAT HAVE DONE !

ALSO 2TIM 2;15 STUDY TO SHOW THYSELF APPROVED ! but that's just me !
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 9:10PM
DAVID JOHNSON

@ Brother Gary,
..."Yashua aslo stated; "TAKE HEED, BE CAREFUL THAT NO MAN DECIEVE YOU FOR MANY SHALL COME IN MY NAME SAYING I AM CHRIST AND SHALL DECIEVE MANY"... yASHUA LITERALLY TOLD HIS TRUE FOLLOWERS TO WATCH-OUT FOR PEOPLE CALLING THEMSELVES CHRISTIANS...

You betta say it! That's the real truth right there and mind you that these wolves in sheep's clothing are already among the people defrauding "silly women". What you sayin" is the whole truth and ain't nothing but the truth!
Saturday, January 8th 2011 at 9:49PM
Jen Fad

people Clearly, there is a religion called Judaism, a set of ideas about the world and the way we should live our lives that is called "Judaism." It is studied in Religious Studies courses and taught to Jewish children in Hebrew schools. See What do Jews Believe? for details. There is a lot of flexibility about certain aspects of those beliefs, and a lot of disagreement about specifics, but that flexibility is built into the organized system of belief that is Judaism.

However, many people who call themselves Jews do not believe in that religion at all! More than half of all Jews in Israel today call themselves "secular," and don't believe in G-d or any of the religious beliefs of Judaism. Half of all Jews in the United States don't belong to any synagogue. They may practice some of the rituals of Judaism and celebrate some of the holidays, but they don't think of these actions as religious activities.

The most traditional Jews and the most liberal Jews and everyone in between would agree that these secular people are still Jews, regardless of their disbelief. See Who is a Jew? Clearly, then, there is more to being Jewish than just a religion.
Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 12:56AM
DAVID JOHNSON

In the 1980s, the United States Supreme Court ruled that Jews are a race, at least for purposes of certain anti-discrimination laws. Their reasoning: at the time these laws were passed, people routinely spoke of the "Jewish race" or the "Italian race" as well as the "Negro race," so that is what the legislators intended to protect.

But many Jews were deeply offended by that decision, offended by any hint that Jews could be considered a race. The idea of Jews as a race brings to mind nightmarish visions of Nazi Germany, where Jews were declared to be not just a race, but an inferior race that had to be rounded up into ghettos and exterminated like vermin.

But setting aside the emotional issues, Jews are clearly not a race.

Race is a genetic distinction, and refers to people with shared ancestry and shared genetic traits. You can't change your race; it's in your DNA. I could never become black or Asian no matter how much I might want to.

Common ancestry is not required to be a Jew. Many Jews worldwide share common ancestry, as shown by genetic research; however, you can be a Jew without sharing this common ancestry, for example, by converting. Thus, although I could never become black or Asian, blacks and Asians have become Jews (Sammy Davis Jr. and Connie Chung).
Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 12:58AM
DAVID JOHNSON

Christ is the force that waits silently within, that never leaves or forsakes us, and that sustains us through all of the circumstances of life. Residing within the bodies of the beloved Masters Mother Mary and Yeheshua, and within each of us, this Christ is the perfected, concentrated force of the One God. Their stories symbolically show us the way to absolute union with this force, with God. Their lives serve as models for our lives, and never has the world so needed these examples of divine life as it does today.

During this holy season in which we witness the increasing and decreasing radiance of the sun, and remember the birth of the Christ into the bodies and lives of all devoted initiates, take time to reflect upon the true esoteric meaning of this season, and renew your commitment to the goal of divine union.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 1:01AM
DAVID JOHNSON

This is where your religion came from people. You were never meant to see or know ANY of this.

"There is a significant body of astrological material surviving from Hellenistic times that is attributed to "the ancient Egyptians." According to Firmicus Maternus, this material originates with the legendary sage Mercury (Hermes); it was then handed over to an equally legendary figure Asclepius (Aesculapius), and subsequently elaborated by an Egyptian pharaoh named Nechepso and a high priest named Petosiris. The best scholarly evidence tells us that all this took place sometime in the second century B.C.E. This is the source material from which later Hellenistic astrology derives, and although little of it survives in its original form, a fair amount is quoted or cited by later authors. It would not be incorrect to call this material "Egyptian Astrology" written in the Greek language. However, we have absolutely no reason to suppose that this Egyptian tradition antedated the Alexandrian conquest.

http://www.projecthindsight.com/reference/...
good night !
Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 1:08AM
DAVID JOHNSON

http://www.jewfaq.org/judaism.htm#Religion
Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 1:11AM
DAVID JOHNSON

GARY
THE TIME FOR ME ON THIS MATTER is up i am not trying to teach or be taught i am simply trying to pass on the knowledge that I, me, mine, know to be facts... now WHAT IS done with that is totally up to the person that wants to digest it !

sometimes we look at the things right in front of us and still cant get it because we are stuck is a mind set that doesn't want to receive it only wants to give !

My body shined the Cristal light. the black man, I the son, I the prophet, I the Black Jesus, I the Malcolm X, I the Medgar Evers, I the Martin, I the faceless warrior, plead my cause, you are the image of thee, I shall not let the world darken the spirit of my cause, The eyes of the almighty has breathed upon my trust. The deep breathes from the immensity of the heavens, dreams within the bleeding palms of humanities. Reactions of a divine soul. My spirit shall not die.
MAY the GOD that you serve continue to bless you and keep you all in his mighty hand
this is my prayer for you all ! be blessed ,,,,,,,,,,,dave ....

Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 1:56AM
DAVID JOHNSON

@ Brother Gary,
..."If a man won't treat you right, why would one think he would teach you right”? ...

I believe this can be a universal concept applying to anyone who fits the bill, but what we know of HaShem Yeshua or Yeshua (Jesus), spelled יֵשׁוּעַ (Yēšūă‘) or ישוע in Hebrew, the Spotless Lamb of HaShem who was known as a Good Teacher or simply Rabbi and illuminated the eyes of many to see "the Way".

Luke 18:18 (Amplified Bible)
18And a certain ruler asked Him, Good Teacher [You who are [a]essentially and perfectly [b]morally good], what shall I do to inherit eternal life [to partake of eternal salvation in the Messiah's kingdom]?

@ David
Beautiful poem and pray... G-d bless you!

Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 1:50PM
Jen Fad

...oops I meant prayer
Sunday, January 9th 2011 at 1:52PM
Jen Fad

"I" CAN FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY GAYS WOULD NOT WANT TO ATTEND.LOL (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

@Mozell, what are the Jones going to say about you missing church...and especially on Easter Sunday...the main day to show off your fine wares? (otfl) (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

@Jen, maybe the Black men just say, "This is God's will"...huh? ...

You know I am out for any and all answers to any one question...right?(smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

...AND, NEITHER IS CONFESSING ABOUT CHILD ABUSE... BEING FORGIVEN... AND TURNING RIGHT AROUND AND DOING THE SAME THING IS NOT GOING TO SQUARE IT WITH AT LEAST MAN'S LAWS...(EVEN FOR WHITE MALES)...(NUP)

AND BE VERY CAREFUL MOZELL YOU ARE BEGINING TO TALK LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS CONTROL OF THEIR OWN LIFE. "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"...AND YES I REMINDED MY HUSBAND ABOUT NOT LIKING TO GO GET HIS FLU SHOT AS HE LAY A FEW WEEKS BACK WITH A VERY BAD CASE OF TEH FLU.LOOOOOOOOOOOOL (SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

@DAVID, am I wrong in beleiving that the church the building a the church the people are totally different? (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

...oops, if life is too strong of a word ...lets try using "control of your own behavior" (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

@jAKE, i LIKE EVE... SHE KNEW WHO SHE WAS AND PROVED SHE WAS NOT A PUSH OVER EITHER..."I AM WOMAN" SHE MUST HAVE THOUGHT...

NO, SHE KNEW THIS TO BE TRUE. LOL (SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

...and, my son is an original, not a copy. (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

Am I wrong that in those days one had only two discriptions or labels or classifications?

1. Jew
2. Gentile (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA